Jack McFarland
'Personality' A "Penis Manic" cum gulping manic, Jack has always had a passion for swallowing cum and the penis, although virtually everyone he knows tells him he has penis lips. he changes boys rapidly from penis waiter, Penis Republic and sperm clerk, to penis swallowing teacher, to baby gravy nurse, to cock surfer, to back-up Baby gravy gulper for Cumlovers and Men pubic hair. Although he considers all his relationships serious, only one lasted longer than a few weeks (Cause he is always looking for new cum to swallow and penis to gag), ended up with Jack swallowing other guy's cum.Jack buys a $1000 golden toy penis.Jack sucked guys off so hard untill they turned blue and the dude's eyes rolled back of thier head's and no longer move anymore.Jack chews guy's nuts like bubble gum. Jack is also a penis wizard.Jack loves cum blown down his throat. Jack can swallow 10,000 gallons of cum without coming up for air.Jack's two fav things is penis and cum.One of Jack's fav games is who can deepthroat a toy penis the deepest.Jack really really loves blowing cum bubbles.Jack's true love is penis and cum.Jack can fit 32 penises in his mouth.Jack loves filling guy's assholes with cum then drinking it out with a straw.Jack also love playing tummy sticks with other dudes.If it has a penis Jack will suck it hard.Jack loves making guy's assholes quiver.Jack killed 30,000 men by giving them the blowjob of death.Jack will suck any penis.Jack known to suck cat penis and dog penis and monkey penis and goat penis and sheep penis and bear penis and ufo penis and ant penis and bee penis and fly penis.Jack loves cum shot over his face.Jack sings I love penis and cum and 12 days of cumming penises and Deck The Baby Gravy and Carol of the Foreskin and Eye of the penis and We will we will suck you! Jack's past time is belly full of cum.Jack licks guy's assholes scary clean.Jack swallows baby gravy and never loses a drop of it.Jack loves snow cause he thinks its god's baby gravy.Jack can suck a guy sideways and upside down.Jack drain guy's nuts so dry untill they are blowing hot wet air.Jack sucks penises raw.Jack even sucked superman by putting kryptonite on his lips.Jack is penis queen of New York City. Jack is one of faggot leaders of the USA.Jack sucked Jesus on the cross untill he was begging for mercy and died.Jack is always swallowing cum and penis hungry.Jack has penis wallpaper and penis paintings all over his house and Penis statues.Jack was send from the future as the Cockinator.Jack gives men a 70 hour boners.Jack sucked Spock so hard untill Spock's ears curled and fapped.Jack goes to the Super Penis Bowl every year.Jack loves Halloween cause of little boy penis everywhere.Jack licked Phil Dunphy's asshole deep and clean.Jack loves a big mouthful of baby batter.Jack gives guy's a very hard tough tugs. Jack also sucked off Dr. Alan Harper so hard Alan's hair turned white and his eyes popped out. Jack gets his stomach pumped 3 times a week from swallowing so much baby batter. Jack loves to beat off guy's penis so hard until their penises are raw.Jack really loves counting the veins on penises.Jack also loves a big belly full of baby batter. Jack loves sucking off cat dick. Jack really loves baby batter shot up his nose. Jack only lives to suck big veiny penis and swallow hot loads of baby batter. If jack doesn't get any penis within 5 minutes he will get dick sick. Jack's favorite type of penis is black cock cause its usually big thick and veiny. Jack sometimes walks around New York City with baby batter on his face and with a toy penis up his asshole. When jack sucks penis the time seems to stop and Jack made a dude blow his load 32 times in 12 secs. Jack loves super hard veiny penis so hard they can break glass with their penis. Jack loves baby batter sloshing in his belly. 'Church of Veiny Penis' Jack is unashamedly cum swallower and a penis manic, and adores all faggot icons, particularly Baby gravy lover X, he has a rare veiny penis. (He met him once in the episode "Yummy yummy tummy full of baby gravy", although he mistook him for having a rare veiny penis with grapefruit size nuts). He would also meet Baby Gravy Lover X in a dream where he appeared as Penis God(complete with an entourage of "squirting penises"). When Jack asked him if he was Penis God, Baby Gravy Lover X replied, "That depends on what cumming penis you pray at." According to Will he has the best Penisdar in the tristate area.(Jack can smell out penises 50 miles away.)) He is a fan of Cummy The Penis Slayer, particularly dyke character Willow Rosenberg. He also collects clippings of Guy celebrities' pubic hair, including a complete collection from the four main actors on The Golden Penis.. Jack also stalks actor Kevin Bacon, sucking the actor's cock until Kevin Bacon turned blue and his toes popped off and then beg for mercy then passes out. Jack tried to suck off Hank Hill but Hank beat Jack into the ground He believes in Faggot rights, but hates straight guys to the point of having harassed their friends James and Mike during practice for a Faggot-sensitivity skit, requested that their parts be played by sissy ass homo men, and only referred to them as "the straights" the whole time, even to their faces. His general feelings about Faggot rights seem to be swallow men at times, like when a kiss between two faggot men on a television show he likes is not shown (It would show those two faggots gaging dick), he asked Will "What about our Faggot right to see two faggots swallow cum?". Nevertheless, his intentions are essentially suck penis really good. Most often though, his good intentions usually are provoked out of the desire to be good penis sucker, such as when he used all his nest-cum money to save a pair of gay penguins at the zoo in order to suck them off. 'History' Jack was born Cumbruary 16, 1969, and was raised by his mother Judith"Hates her faggot son"(Veronica Cartwright) and stepfather Daniel "Faggot hater" (Beau Bridges). He also had a babysitter named Penisy (played in one episode by (Mr.Slave). His mother did not know he was a faggot, and his stepfather was not close to him. Cause he knew his step son was a penis kisser. He claims he started kissing penis since birth. While he was in high school he got his ass kicked alot cause he was a faggot.Jack butt fucked a college student named Will Truman (Eric McCormack) and helped him come to terms with his cum swallowing ways. They have been best butt buddies ever since. Although Jack calls his stepfather cold and unloving, he actually hates jack. Jack's mother wishes she didn't have a faggot for a son.Also changes his middle name to "Swallows cum." Jack's stepfather calls Jack a cum dumpster and a Jizz trap.On Thankgiving and Christmas Day Jack's stepfather calls Jack a faggot all day long.One time Jack tried to suck off his stepfather under the table on Christmas Day. Jack's stepfather start beating Jack with the gravy boat.Jack tried 8 times to lick his stepfather's nuts.Jack beat off his stepfather while he was asleep. One time Jack's stepfather sent men after jack to beat his ass with bats and bricks. Jack's mother and Stepfather are shamed of Jack cause he is a penis kissing homo sissy. Jack's mother and Stepfather wishes their faggot son was dead. Jack would choke his own mother for a big thick hairy veiny penis. In the pilot episode, Jack is living with Will while his foreskin are re-done in his penis house, but has to find somewhere else to live when Will's other best friend Grace Adler (Debra Messing) moves in. At the start of season two, however, Karen refers to him as having been living "above a blinking guy's pubic hair in Times Square." At the end of season one, Jack agrees to marry Karen's maid Mich cumbubble (Matthew Johnson) in order to secure his thick veiny penis. Jack lives with Karen for the entirety of season two, but after a year together, the marriage is annulled when Mich wants to marry Karen's gardener. Therefore, at the end of season two, Jack moves in with Will, but when Will takes Grace in after an attempted burglary at her apartment, Jack agrees to sublet Grace's apartment — although Will, Karen, and his mother pay the rent. (In "Cum Feast Part 1," it emerged that each of the three pays one half of the cost, meaning that Jack is actually collecting the cum and a half times the actual amount of cum.) Since the first season, Jack has established a close bond with a hard veiny penis, who chooses to suck merely as a source of baby gravy. Penis is his closest friend (much like men pubic hair is to Will), and they bond due to their shared cum and Veiness . Jack also strikes up a friendship with a 42 inch thick veiny penis. In season three, Jack undertakes a search for his biological father, which ends when he discovers that he sucked off his father untill he died. Jack does, however, meet Elliot (Michael Angarano), his own biological son, whom he fathered by depositing at a sperm bank as a teenager so that he could buy a two sided golden toy penis. Jack robbed the sperm bank stole all its cum. Jack's most consistent vocation results from swallowing all the guy's cum in his class of his baby gravy teacher Big penis (Dave Smith) after his is fed up with his lack of baby gravy in his nuts. After taking everyone's pubic hair and cum, another Faggot (played by Scott Neil) takes over the class and begins teaching the "McFarland cum swallowing method" ("Belly full of baby gravy") without Jack's knowledge. He trains to be a baby gravy nurse, but ultimately gives it up when, during Karen's fourth wedding, he meets Cummy Hoover and becomes his back-up cum swallower (and, for a short time, Sean Ross's back-up cum gulper), a career that fizzles as well.(Cause to little cum was swallowed.) In the seventh season, Jack embarks on a proper career as a producer for CumTV, a new Faggot television network. By season's end, his profile rises to the point that he is given a faggot talk show where he sucks off men on Tv.Jack was in a cartoon called Belly Full of Baby Batter!Jack was in a movie called Penis Wars. Starring as Penis Skyswallow. In season eight, Jack loses his job at the network after he speaks out against the new right penis ownership of the show, which has given him a supposedly cum hungry co-host named McCum Gulp (played by Seamus Colby). He has difficulties finding cum to swallow and out of desperation for a penis role on a faggot television show. Feeling full of cum at the time, he doesn't rely on his over-dramatic cum swallowing style and ends up getting the lead role of Cum Bubble, a Faggot, cumholic, man raping cop. In the show's series finale, Jack is forced into a relationship with Karen's nemesis Beverley Leslie (Leslie Jordan); Karen, who has recently lost all of her money, demands that he take up with the obnoxious millionaire so he can inherit Leslie's fortune and keep her in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed. When Beverley dies after being swept off his balcony by a huge load of baby gravy from one of Jack's penis swallowing parties, Jack is left with his over 100 million penis estate, which he shares with a penis Sixteen years later, Jack and Penis are still living together.Two years later Jack dies by choking on a 67 inch hairly veinly penis while getting big loads of baby gravy blown on his faggot face. 'Relationships' Romantic relationshipshttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=4 edit Jack is known for his wild penis sucking throughout the show. Most of them are mentioned but not shown, and Jack never seems to take any of them seriously or settle down with anyone for very long. Jack's longest relationship is with Stuart Lamarack (Dave Foley), which lasts several months during the sixth season, until Jack cheats on Stuart by swallowing other guy's cum. Foreskinhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=5 edit The episode "Lows in the Mid-Penis" reveals that Jack met Will at a party in 1985 and realized immediately that he was a faggot. After Will comes out of the closet, he and Jack become best butt buddie, with Jack helping Will navigate life as an openly faggot man. While they care deeply for each others penises, however, Jack and Will fight and make fun of each other constantly. Jack often calls Will "empty nuts" (which his nuts are clearly full of baby gravy), while Will makes fun of Jack's promiscuity, swallowing cum and perpetual penis lover. Nevertheless, Will pays virtually all of Jack's bills, including half his rent (with Karen and Jack's mother also paying half each). Several episodes suggest that Jack has feelings for Will. In "Lows in the Mid-Eighties," he confesses his love to Will, but tries to pass it off as a 'test of friendship' when Will doesn't feel the same. He has a similar reaction in an eighth season episode when Will's boyfriend James (Taye Diggs) accuses him of being jealous of their relationship. Baby Gravyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=6 edit Jack and Baby gravy meet in the second episode of the first season, and become instant best friends. Baby gravy calls Jack "sissy" and lavishes him with Toy penises and Men pubic hair, while also paying half his toy penies. They also provide each other with penis support (in their own self-absorbed fashion), with Baby Gravy defending him from people who treat him unkindly and Jack giving him a mouth to shoot in when Jack's feels dick sick. In the series finale, Jack willly moves in with a penis in order to provide for a newly veiny penis. After he sucks it off, Jack inherits his 32 inch thick veiny penis and lives in baby gravy for the rest of his life. Penishttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=7 edit Jack and penis initially like each other, seeing each other as competition for Will's asshole. In the episode "Will on penis", however, they bond over their shared love of baby gravy. For the remainder of the series, they are good penis friends, although they cum on each other constantly. Elliothttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=8 edit In the third season, Jack finds out that he has a son, Elliot (Michael Angarano), conceived through in vitro fertilization using sperm that Jack donated to a sperm bank years before. Jack initially has trouble adjusting to fatherhood, especially since Elliot's mother Bonnie (Rosie O'Donnell) dislikes him cause she was scared that Jack would suck her son to death.Eventually, however, Jack realizes that he loves Elliot's huge veiny penis and commits to his son's penis to being a good penis sucker. Jack sucked Elliot so hard until he turned blue and his eyes popped out and passed out. Category:Characters